Discernment counseling is a short, structured process for couples who aren't sure whether to work on their marriage or move toward separation. In just one to five sessions, each partner gets real clarity on what they want to do next — without pressure to decide either way.
If you're in that stuck, uncertain place — one of you wants out, the other wants to try — you're not alone, and you don't have to sort it out on your own.
What Is Discernment Counseling?
Discernment counseling isn't couples counseling. Couples counseling works on the relationship. Discernment counseling helps you decide whether you want to work on it at all.
Most couples come in because they're on different pages: one partner is "leaning out," the other is "leaning in." The goal isn't to save the marriage or end it. The goal is clarity — for both of you, separately and together.
What a Session Looks Like
A typical discernment counseling process runs one to five sessions. Each session usually includes:
- A short conversation together, to name where things stand.
- Individual time with each partner, one-on-one, to speak honestly without the other in the room.
- A close at the end of each session on what the next step is.
By the end, most couples land on one of three paths: keep things as they are for now, commit to a defined period of real couples counseling, or move toward separation. Casey doesn't push any of the three — her job is to stay neutral and help you both get there with clear eyes.
Discernment Counseling in Larkspur and Marin County
Casey Binstadt, LMFT, offers discernment counseling from her office in Larkspur, CA, serving Marin County, and by telehealth throughout California. Many couples start with a free consultation to see if discernment counseling is the right fit before committing to sessions.
If this sounds familiar
If you and your partner are on different pages about what comes next, that's exactly what discernment counseling is built for. You can also read about coparenting counseling if children are already part of the picture.
Frequently Asked Questions
How is discernment counseling different from couples counseling?
Couples counseling works on repairing and strengthening the relationship. Discernment counseling helps you decide whether you want to do that work at all — it's a decision-making process, not relationship repair.
How many sessions does discernment counseling take?
Most couples complete the process in one to five sessions. It's intentionally short — it's meant to bring clarity, not become an open-ended commitment.
What if we each want something different?
That's actually the most common reason couples start discernment counseling — one partner leaning toward separation, the other wanting to try. Individual time with each partner during sessions makes space for that honestly.
Will the counselor tell us what to do?
No. Casey stays neutral throughout. The goal is for each of you to reach your own clarity, not to be steered toward one outcome.
Is discernment counseling confidential?
Yes, with the same confidentiality protections as other therapy. Casey can go over the specifics during your first session.
What happens after discernment counseling ends?
You'll land on one of three paths together: staying as you are for now, a defined period of couples counseling, or moving toward separation — often with coparenting counseling to follow if children are involved.